Week 2 Corkers

Corky Says...

You can't judge a season by the first week. Too many odd things can happen. Injuries, crazy tipped touchdowns, good or bad debuts, Jake Delhomme. But I did go 8-8. A solid start, which can only lead to bigger and better things...

PICKS in CAPS

OAKLAND (+3) @ Kansas City

I believe in Oakland. The magic is back in silver and black. Well, lets just say I believe in Oakland in as much as someone has to finish second in the AFC West.

HOUSTON (+7) @ Tennessee

Houston is much better than they showed against the Jets. And remember, there's always turnover in playoff teams between seasons. Tennessee seems like such a likely choice to miss the playoffs. If they were any more likely, they'd be the Miami Dolphins.

NEW ENGLAND (-3.5) @ NY Jets

People love the Jets. New coach, rookie QB, big defense; they think they're looking at the 2008 Ravens. And while everyone goes ga-ga for the Jets, you and the Corkster will make money. Because the Patriots have one Thomas J. Brady, Esq.

@ GREEN BAY (-9.5) vs. Cincinnati

A moment of silence for the 2009 Bengals. Even if they hadn't grasped defeat from the jaws of victory, the facts show they scored 7 points at home against Denver. That's bad. Not a good omen, if you will.

MINNESOTA (-10) @ Detroit

The Lions didn't look as horrible as 2008. We like that. But I guess Adrian Peterson still notices that they're still the Lions. And he's still Adrian Peterson.

NEW ORLEANS (-1) @ Philadelphia

Alright, raise your hand if you had Philadelphia winning the NFC this year. I want to laugh at you. Seriously. I've been saying this for years, and I'll keep saying it until someone believes me... we have seen the best of Donovan McNabb. He will not see the playoffs in an Eagles jersey EVER AGAIN. New Orleans wins by two touchdowns.

CAROLINA (+6) @ Atlanta

When you're wrong, you're wrong. I thought Jake Delhomme was done. Fantasy anathema, gambling enigma, one bad game away from being the franchise player of the Florida Tuskers. And now everyone's running away from him like he's on fire. And when all the money's going one way, Corky goes the other.

ST. LOUIS (+9.5) @ Washington

Yikes. I don't think Washington can beat anyone by 10 points. Including Miami.

ARIZONA (+3) @ Jacksonville

I know, I know. West coast team, playing at 1 p.m. on the East Coast. But making Jacksonville a favorite implies that they are better than another NFL team. I refuse to believe this.

@ SAN FRANCISCO (-1) vs. Seattle

Only because San Fran's defense might be good, and Seattle's defense might all be on the injured list.

@ BUFFALO (-4.5) vs. Tampa Bay

I'm not convinced. I know Tampa ran all over the Dallas defense. But you have to believe in something, and I believe Tampa Bay is the worst team in football. And if that means taking Buffalo and giving points, such is the gambler's curse.

@ DENVER (-3) vs. Cleveland

McDaniels vs. Mangini in another titanic clash of Ex-Patriot assistants. In watching just how inept these ex-Patriot coaches are, we should all appreciate Bill Belichick a little bit more.

BALTIMORE (+3) @ San Diego

Now would be a good time to get on the Ravens' bandwagon. And it's not like San Diego cares about this game. The weather's still great in San Diego, and 6-10 could still win the AFC West.

@ CHICAGO (+3) vs. Pittsburgh

I can't prove this, but I think someone switched Jay Cutler's Gatorade with Kool-Aid Sunday night. It wouldn't shock me. It would shock him, though. And didn't someone tell Troy Polamalu about the Head 'n' Shoulders curse?

@ DALLAS (-3) vs. NY Giants

I believe it was the great Samuel Taylor Coleridge who once wrote "In Arlington did Jerry Jones/A stately pleasure dome decree..." And Corky's gambling adage #434 states: never bet against a team playing its first home game underneath a scoreboard the size of a blue whale.

INDIANAPOLIS (-3) @ Miami

Nothing like ending the week with an easy win. I don't care if it's Hank Baskett, Charlie Bucket, Jar Jar Binks, or Sarah Pail-in catching balls from America's Greatest Commercial Star, Peyton Manning.

And when we go to sleep on Monday night, America will sleep better knowing that we've all made money, and the Dolphins are horrible again.